Tochan
by Mitchekie
Summary: Movie-version Lloyd. One-shot. Really sucks when everyone else on the planet has a normal dad and yours is the spawn of all evil...


**Author's Note: "Tochan", from what I have gathered, is a more informal, albeit kindly, way to address one's father. While "otosan"/"otousan" is the standard and formal address, and "chichi" (which has a sweet ring to it) sounds more fitting and/or appealing for a title, I wanted something that denotes great closeness and adoration. The "chan" connotes friendliness more-so than "san", and I didn't want to use "chichi" because that's only talking about one's father in front of others, not to one's father directly, and in this story it's focusing on Lloyd addressing his father face-to-face... albeit in thought.  
**

* * *

Lloyd Garmadon ran up the stairs to his bedroom two at a time and hastily shut the door behind him. He threw his backpack onto the hardwood floor, tossed his geta under the bed, and shuffled tiredly over to a small sink in one corner of the room, placing both hands upon the cold, porcelain edges and gripping them tightly for support. He sighed deeply and slowly lifted his head to look up, almost nervously, into the mirror. He recognized immediately the awkward, scrawny kid that stared back at him - blonde hair pedantically combed off to one side; worn, slightly pallid expression; typically green jacket; kind heart with a bruised exterior... This was what he saw every day; what he'd seen every day since he was young. No one else seemed to see it. For some reason, the kind heart often got overlooked, if not ignored altogether, and seemed to be the subject of many a "kick here" note.  
Yes, he recognized that pitiful kid staring back at him. What he didn't recognize was what was behind the eyes... A stranger. A secret. A person who hid out in the open for all to see, and the son of the most hated guy on the planet: Lord Garmadon. Had his mother not been as loving, as kind, and as supportive as she was, Lloyd would have been absolutely convinced that he was adopted, for never in a million eons would he ever find himself on the supporting end of a villainous plot. Or would he...? Had it been his father who had raised him, would he for certain have walked down the same path, or would he have grown a moral conscience somewhere down the road? Would it have been easier to grow up the son of Lord Garmadon... or the son of Misako? Never would he know the answer to that question, and, if Lloyd was to be completely honest with himself, he wasn't really sure he wanted to.

The further he stared into the mirror, the more he saw what he didn't want to see: a scared and confused teenager who didn't know what the heck to do with his life. For eight years they'd been fighting this fight: city against evil overlord; ninja against adversary; son against father. For eight years he'd been living a lie and trying to convince himself that it was all really worth it.

Lloyd frowned. His reflection frowned back at him mockingly. _So what the heck are you gonna do about it?_ it snipped silently. Lloyd's brow furrowed into a deep crevice, and he turned to look outside the dirt-stained window to his right. It was slightly open from the bottom, inviting in an enticing, albeit somewhat fishy, smell of fresh salmon and bass and, to a lesser extent, dashi. Images of miso soup and sashimi wafted into his mind, and his eyelids settled slightly at the remembrance of the taste, but he quickly snapped himself out of it. Unlike Cole, Lloyd wasn't as easily swayed by the prospect of food, but the earth ninja's weakness for it was rather amusing.  
Thoughts of Cole brought him back to the other ninja. He wondered how they were celebrating their latest victory (or... non-victory, as Uncle Wu would put it). Kai would be back home training; probably warming up by the punching bag while jamming to The Fold. Lloyd mentally shook his head. That guy never took a break. Jay was undoubtedly trying to convince Nya that a night out at Sushi Ko to wind down was a good idea. Nya wouldn't hear of it. She would insist that training was more important than eating. Like sister, like brother. Cole would be blasting AC/DC on his boombox while walking home and not giving two shurikens about it. Zane was probably "recharging".  
Yeah. Everybody else had a normal life while he, the unfortunate son of Lord Garmadon, was in here sulking like some ungrateful little brat. _Normal_. Normal... What the heck was "normal" anyway? An average life? Probably a more stable one. Certainly not a universe in which your father was a four-armed, black-hearted, literal villain.

In his anger, he directed the frustration seeping out of his hands and into the harsh grip around the sink edges... to the sliding door of the window, and he threw it up and open with such force that it rattled the entire apartment. Lloyd winced and braced himself for the inevitable...

"Lloyd?! Is everything all right in there?" his mother called, concern etched in every syllable.

"Y-Yeah, mom! I'm... I'm fine! Window just... s-slipped out of my hands...," Lloyd fibbed, facepalming at such a stupid cover story.

"Well... All right, but just... call me if you need anything! Okay...?" his mother replied after a pause, clearly not convinced.

"Y-Yeah, mom! Thanks...," Lloyd called back, letting his reply trail off with a sigh. His mom was nothing but supportive, and he felt guilty for lying to her, but if there was anything he wasn't in the mood for right now... it was a pep talk.

He fed himself another facepalm in self-disgust, sighed heavily, and shuffled over to the window, pausing for a moment or two before climbing up onto the sill, swinging his legs out over it, and nudging his bottom into a semi-comfortable sitting position.

Life was a lot more peaceful up here. No whispers. No stares. No hiding behind a fake smile. This was his favorite spot in the entire city for more than just the beautiful view - it was the one place where he could be himself, voice his thoughts, without anyone saying otherwise, without anyone interrupting, even if it wasn't the softest seat on the planet.

Lloyd bit his lip in annoyance. The thoughts streaming into his head attacked him like an angry hive of bees, and he shook his head in a fruitless attempt to ward them off.

 _Failure. Failure. You're such a failure and a freak_ , came the voices in his head. Mocking him. Biting him.

I am _not_ a freak..., Lloyd growled back to himself.

 _Yeah. You're right. You're not a freak, but your dad is._

He's just misunderstood...

 _Like you?_

Lloyd had no reply for this one, and the voices laughed at him in response. They laughed. And they laughed. And they laughed. Their laughter was like a jackhammer to his head - loud, monotonous, and painful. On and on the bees continued their buzzing, leaving the windowsill to the mercy of Lloyd's tightening hand grip. In a vain attempt to deaden the noise he searched the city life below him for something even remotely interesting to focus on...

Two men were arguing about something down a dark alley. Occasionally, lonely passerby or a strolling couple would walk past them and fail miserably at trying not to stare. This hardly amused Lloyd. All it did was make him want to go down and stop the fight before someone got hurt. That meant he would have to get off the roof, though, and seeing as the only way back into his room was through the front door past his already worried mother... he decided to stay put.  
A little girl in an overcoat much too big for her was running across the street to catch up with her mother. Cute, but not particularly interesting.  
There was a line forming for some event outside the local movie theater.  
A crew of policemen, construction workers, and local folk were gathered in various pockets of Ninjago cleaning up the mess that his dad had made earlier when he'd invaded the city...

Lloyd sighed. Nothing but the usual. He wished something exciting would happen... like... his dad coming over for a visit to apologize. That would be exciting. Or maybe they could play Scrabble... with a twist: They could only use words that were in the titles of popular, current songs that his dad probably wouldn't know. Lloyd imagined it would be kinda funny to see his dad frustrated if it was in an actual, normal, fun, dad-like way. That would be exciting. Or maybe he could teach him how to play guitar... just like the cool kids did. Or go see the band Brickface live. Or help tune up his dragon mech...! That would be exciting. In fact, he couldn't think of a more exciting thing in the entire world than just hanging out with his dad... like normal kids did...

He stared off into nothingness, thinking. His gaze finally wandered distractedly over to the sea...

In the distance, many miles off the coast of Ninjago, he could just make out a dark, stationary figure resting in the confines of the ocean. A steady stream of black smoke issued from its top, peppering the crisp night air above it with soot and ash. Lloyd frowned at it. He couldn't imagine how anyone could ever live there, but, then again, he supposed that when you were the very definition of darkness itself a volcano as a penthouse probably seemed like a pretty cozy place to call home.

"Mew!"

Lloyd jumped so hard he almost fell off the dang roof.

"AH! O-Oh... Eheh. Hi, Shrimp..."

Shrimp smiled; at least, Lloyd imagined her to smile, in the funny way that cats do. Shrimp was their next door neighbor's orange and white tabby; always hungry, always loud, and never so rude as to turn down a good scratch behind the ears, the latter-most of which Lloyd happily administered. Shrimp purred contentedly and rubbed her head against Lloyd's knee. Lloyd picked her up, sat her on his lap, and rubbed her belly. The purring intensified. Lloyd chuckled.

"Like that, huh? Yeah, that's a good kitty..."

Nobody he knew seemed to like cats that much, except for the girls, of course, but he thought they were pretty cool. Shrimp was a-okay in his book anyway.

Smoke continued to issue from the volcano. Lloyd didn't say anything more for quite some time, yet Shrimp kept up her monologue of purrs and "mrrr"s, while Lloyd fought back against what was pushing at his eyes. The cat seemed to sense that something was wrong, for she stopped to look up into Lloyd's shadowed face. Two seconds later... and Shrimp found herself being picked up and cuddled close to the boy's heaving chest. Taking this as a plus, Shrimp closed her eyes and nuzzled Lloyd's face, purring as she enjoyed the rhythmic, rather shaky ebb and flow of the body she was pressed up against. It heaved up and down in waves, and now and again she felt a drop of something wet on her fur. She didn't mind this much. Rain never really bothered her. She was a very strange cat in that way. The rain must have bothered Lloyd, though, for he was moaning sadly behind her fur.

 _Silly boy_ , thought the cat to herself. _It's just a little rain..._

And she licked Lloyd on the cheek.

The "rain" kept falling... Lloyd cursed himself for acting like such a child. As if tears would solve anything. As if crying would bring him back...

"Tochan!" yelled a voice above his head. Lloyd instinctively looked up at the light pouring out of the upper balcony. He heard the tinkling sound of a child's laughter... and the equally happy sound of a father's warm reply.

 _Tochan..._

He wasn't the only kid in the city without a tochan to run to, but, sometimes, he felt like he was.

"Tochan...," he whispered under his breath. It felt nice just to say it. Just to pretend...

He looked off into the distance. The volcano was still lightly smoking. He closed his eyes and buried his face in the cat's fur, but Shrimp had had enough of the cuddling and pulled out of Lloyd's grasp. She could smell the familiar scent of fresh cod, signaling her owner's return, and if she didn't pine and beg now when her mistress was more forgiving there would be no fish scraps tonight. Giving Lloyd one last lick on the hand, she jumped off his lap with a light thump and a loud "mew" and strolled off to the next apartment window. Lloyd watched her go sadly... before turning to look back out at the ocean again.

"Tochan! I want to show you! I built the new ninjago mech model today!" said the little boy above him excitedly.

Lloyd blinked and looked up. The irony was uncomfortably palpable. He looked back at the ocean.

"Do you have to go back to work tomorrow too, daddy?" Lloyd heard the young boy ask.

"Yeeeaaaah. Unfortunately," replied the father with a dry chuckle.

"Can't you just stay with me, daddy?"

Lloyd looked out at the figure on the sea, as if the boy's question had been his own. He glared at it, willing it to answer.

The volcano continued smoking...


End file.
